


Commander Fox Deals with A lot

by BloodyDevil



Series: The Interviews Universe [2]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Fox deals with kids, Fox is not one of these clones, Fox is responsible for the T tag on this fic, Fox swears quite a bit, Gen, I hate it, It found a plot, Most clones love kids, There Are Children in The Senate, This was meant to be a plotless crack fic, but i love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23341063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyDevil/pseuds/BloodyDevil
Summary: After the 'unedited' version of the follow up interview was posted to the Holoweb, a lot of sentients came to the same conclusion. The Clones were good with Kids and Trustworthy.This leads to complications for the Coruscant Guard.
Series: The Interviews Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678621
Comments: 26
Kudos: 659





	Commander Fox Deals with A lot

Of all the things to happen while patrolling.

This.

This was not expected.

‘This’ being a clearly overworked mother shoving a toddler into Fox’s arms with a quick “Just for a couple of hours” before disappearing.

Now there is one thing that one should know about Fox, that’s relevant to his current situation

1) Fox was hopeless at Childcare. 


He could deal with cadets, but he wasn’t good with non-clone kids. Kids who haven’t been trained.

Especially not kids who look like they’re about to cry.

So. Fox was at a bit of a loss. Looking around, Fox could not spot the mother. Which was bad. And his patrol partner, Hive, was being no help. Fox was 99% sure he was recording him.

The other 1% was Fox not being sure if Hive remembered he could while laughing.

The kid sniffles, bringing Fox’s attention back to it, it was clearly close to crying. Bad. Very Bad.

Fox considered taking off his helmet, he knew most of his brothers did that when faced with children. But Fox had also been told he has Resting Bitch Face so that might not help.

“Don’t let him cry!” Hive protests and swiftly pulls the kid from Fox’s arm, doing _something_ and making the kid giggle. Fox didn’t know. He didn’t care.

Non-Clone kids were sticky and gross and he did not like them. From a distance, fine. Having to take care of them? Fuck no. 

Which why two small beings slamming into his legs disturbed Fox more when they weren’t bombs or bounty hunters or Boba (who was _technically_ a bounty hunter but was also a brother the others teased whenever spotted) but rather two children looking up at him with smiles.

“Dad said you’d keep us safe cuz we can’t go to school.” One of them says.

Kark. Fox restrains a sigh, instead lifts the kids up- purely because he can’t leave them here and they’d slow him and Hive down if they were left to walk.

“Hive-” Fox stops when he sees Hive has two more children, a child probably around 10 and another toddler. 

“Yes Commander?” Hive asks, as if he didn’t have three children. Well, Fox has two so he can’t really judge.

“We’re heading back.” Fox wants to get back to Base before they get more kids.

“Sir? Is that wise? Shouldn’t we keep the kids here?”

“If the parents didn’t trust us, then they wouldn’t of left the kids with us. If they don’t trust us, they’ll call out as we leave and we can return them. Let’s go.” Hive nods and follows Fox out of the sector they were in.

Fortunately, they make it back to Base without picking up any more kids.

_Un_ fortunately, there’s a gaggle of them at Base.

“Scut!” Fox calls, setting the kids down and letting them play with the other kids.

Scut comes scuttering over and explains without prompting, “Everyone keeps giving patrols their kids. And we can’t just leave them anywhere so they’re here. Sked has made a ‘go home’ schedule of timing parents gave us couple hours, workday, school, daycare, some of them are guestimates but we figure better late than early if the parents aren’t home.”

Fox sighs, _”Why?”_

Scut shrugs, “Don’t know sir. It’s been happening all day.” Fox dismisses Scut with a wave and heads to his office. Once alone, Fox pulls off his bucket, falls into his desk chair and groans into his desk. 

Fox can’t decide if he should blame the Jedi or Palpatine. Both have been causing an even 50-50 split of his problems.

When someone knocks on his door, he pulls himself up and sits straight, barking out “Come in.”

Grytt comes in, “Sir, I think I know why we’re overrun with children.” Grytt shuts the door behind him and walks a couple steps forward to stand in front of Fox’s desk.

Fox’s office was more like a closet but he deals. “Why?” Fox prompts when Grytt doesn’t continue on his own.

“The interview Generals Kenobi, Eerin and Vos did.”

That… made no sense. “I saw that. There was nothing about us or kids.” He didn’t have a choice in seeing it. The Chancellor wanted his opinion.

Or rather the Chancellor wanted him to say ‘It’s good’ despite it being a dumpster fire.

“In the official one, yes. But someone released an unofficial one yesterday, it’s all over the Holoweb. It’s an unedited version of the official version. Which includes Waxer and Boil talking about children, and references to the 212th and 451st playing with the Jedi younglings while the interview was going on.”

Oh, Fuck.

Fox knew the Jedi were to blame. Well, technically the Chancellor was to blame since he ordered that interview. 

Fuck.

Fox sighs deeply, “Great.”

Grytt nods, a grimace on his face, which reminds Fox that Grytt doesn’t like children anymore than he does. 

Fuck.

“Is there anything we can do to stop this?”

“Unlikely sir. The holonet has already decided Clones are great with children.”

“Fuck.”

“I agree.”

Fox sighs, and his comm beeps. Fox checks it and groans. The Chancellor, requesting an escort.

Fox really wished he could delegate. But he _can’t_. Not when he’s at Base. Since it’s beneath the Senate.

“Go back to your duties Grytt.” Fox stands up, grabbing his bucket.

“Uh, sir, I’m supposed to be on patrol. A lot of us are but we don’t want to get anymore children.” Grytt admits somewhat sheepishly.

Right. Because that’s a new problem. 

Solution will have to come later. Fox puts his bucket back on, “Go back on Patrol. Complete your rounds and if you get anymore kids, bring them back here with a time to return them.” With that, Fox leaves Grytt in his office. 

“Thire! With me!” Fox calls and hears Thire quickly following after Fox to the elevator.

“Sir?”

“The Chancellor wants an escort.” Fox states, pushing the Chancellors floor and the door shut button before Thire could throw himself off the elevator.

It was a near thing. Thire hit the doors and falls on the ground. He doesn’t get up. “I hate you.”

“If I have to deal with him. You do too. Or would you like to play babysitter?”

It really told you a lot about the Chancellor when Thire actually _thought_ about playing babysitter. Thire didn’t even like the _cadets_. Wanted to keep as far away from children as physically possible. Mostly because in his (drunk) words “They’re so fragile. What if I hurt one? What if I kill one?”

Ultimately, Thire stood up with a sigh. Standing straight next to Fox as the elevator arrives at it’s destination and the pair exit to find the Chancellor and escort him to wherever the man needs to go.

\---

The kid thing got worse. 

More children were running around Base.

What was _worse_ than the numbers, was that is was _normal_. 

Fox could name almost all the children at Base. Fox was 90% sure a couple of the ones he couldn’t name were Jedi younglings but he couldn’t bring himself to care. They knew how to contact the Temple, and the other kids parent’s comm numbers were on record and easily accessible if necessary. Sked had all the kids home-time down and it was on a board in the main room. All Trooper comms in Base got the notification when a kid had ten minutes before home time. Or if it was multiple kids, they got a list of names.

This was not good. Somehow. Somehow the Coruscant guard had become a daycare.

Fox wasn’t paid enough to deal with this shit.

He wasn’t paid period but that’s not the point.

He had to file paperwork to make sure this was legal but that took him ten minutes. But it finally hit Fox that they were a _daycare_.

Most of the Troopers who didn’t like children spent most of their time out of Base on patrols or with the Judiciary who found their situation hilarious but were kind enough to let a couple of squads work out of their offices.

Apparently there were holopics and vids out there of the Coruscant Guard with children. Some of them bringing the children to Base, some _inside_ Base, clearly taken by vode.

Fox hates his brothers.

Fox notices something out of the corner of his eye and snaps his head over to see.

“Ink!” Fox calls and said Trooper stops in his tracks. Fox walks over to the Trooper who had been going to the elevator with his squad to switch sentry duty. Fox looks at the child who was clinging to Ink with big wide eyes. “What are you doing?”

“She doesn’t trust anyone else.”

“You cannot take a child into the Senate.” Fox hears some shuffling behind him and snaps to look at the others, “What?” He demands.

None of the Troopers in Ink’s squad speak.

Hive steps up, “Sir, you should head to the Senate. Not just the Chancellor’s floor.”

“Why?” Fox didn’t want the answer. He really didn’t.

“Well, some kids are really attached to certain Clones and, uh,”

Fox restrains a sigh. He was going to kill them all.

“Ink, stay. The rest of you, with me!” Fox leads Ink’s squad to an elevator and takes it to the floor they were going to go to. The Senate was currently in session so the hallways should be mostly empty.

Fox wasn’t wrong. But rather than the aids he was used to, there were children running amok.

Thankfully they were silent, some were standing next to Troopers standing sentry, clearly mimicking the Trooper. 

Fox sighs. Why?

“We’re going to get into so much trouble for this.” Fox grumbles.

“Most of the Senators don’t mind.”

“Do they not mind or are they too polite to say something?” Fox asks as the squad departs the elevator.

“Well, Senators Organa and Amidala are making a case about how the Senate has been neglecting it’s citizens, with schools and daycares closed due to lack of funding, and the people turning to us for help.” Onloc explains, the only Trooper to stick with Fox while the rest go relieve those they were sent to relieve. 

Fox doesn’t sigh. At least it won’t cause problems for the parents, Fox had the paperwork in order. The Coruscant Guard’s Base was in fact a Daycare, and all the members of the Guard were cleared to work with children. “Go relieve someone, I’ll send extra people up.” Fox orders and heads back to the elevator, now packed with other Troopers and a half dozen kids.

Joy.

\----

Cody loved this. Snickering at all the pictures of Fox dealing with normal children. The Commander was good at many things, child-rearing was not one of them.

“What’re you laughing at Commander?” Waxer asks, sitting down next to Cody. 

At first Cody had been surprised when no other Trooper talked about how hilarious it was that the Coruscant Guard had become a daycare, then he realized he was using General Kenobi’s datapad and that that information wasn’t on the restricted holoweb the Clones got.

Well. No harm in sharing. Cody slides the pad he had technically stolen from his General to Waxer.

“Aw, Fox had a mission with a kid?” Waxer asks, flipping through the pictures.

“Not a mission.”

“Why are there kids at their Base?” Waxer’s question drew the attention of the other clones around them.

“Because, you went on record talking about how much you love kids. And somehow that translated to all Clones being good with kids. And now, the Coruscant Guard, is officially a daycare.”

Most of the other clones started sniggering. Fox’s dislike/inability to deal with children was well-known.

Waxer however, Waxer looked thoughtful. Before he handed Cody his (Kenobi’s) pad back and stood up. “I’m going to go find Boil.” With that, Waxer went off like a shot.

Wooley stopped laughing first to say, “He’s going to request a transfer.”

“He gets to play with kids all day? I’m surprised he didn’t immediately ask.” Juniper snorts.

Cody stood up and stated, “He’s not getting transferred. And neither is anyone else. But, if you want to spread it around the GAR that Fox is now a full time babysitter, I’m not going to stop you,” Cody couldn’t _tell_ them to spread information they weren’t supposed to have, so this was the closest thing. But they all understood it, Cody could hear them chattering on comms as he left.

His break was over and he needed to head back to the Bridge to make sure his General hadn’t ‘lost’ his armor again.

He had a bad habit of that.

\----

There was a child standing beside Fox.

Fox was currently on sentry duty for the Chancellor’s office. He and Croak. Both were ramrod straight and absolutely still, blending into the background for most.

Except.

There was a Tholothian child standing beside him. Fox put her at about eight. To be fair to the child, she was also ramrod straight and hadn’t move for the past three hours.

But she had started to wiggle in a way Fox had learned meant the kid needed to pee. He internally groaned, he didn’t want to take the kid to the bathroom. He wasn’t supposed to leave his post! But he also didn’t trust the Chancellor’s secretary to take the kid.

 _”Want me to take her?”_ Croak asks over internal comms. Fox was always grateful for internal comms on long sentry shifts. It made them seem completely silent while they could be talking up a storm.

 _”You aren’t supposed to leave your post either.”_ Fox reminds. The wiggling was getting worse.

 _”Yeah but I’m a private. I can be a little wet around the ears and it’s not like the chancellor knows who I am.”_ that was true, Croak’s armour pattern was shared with about fifteen other troopers. They liked being able to blame one another for random shit and no one being able to tell them apart. _”I don’t think she’s going to complain Commander, but-”_

Fox barely holds back a sigh, _”Take her to the washroom, be quick.”_ Croak leaves his post, hurrying to Fox and picking up the kid and speed-walking toward the bathroom.

Of course a minute later the Chancellor exits his office. Fox hates his luck.

“Isn’t there supposed to be two of you?”

“Yes. The Private had to deal with some business,” Fox states.

“Ah. Of course.” Whatever the Chancellor was about to say, he doesn’t on account of Corak returning with the kid, setting her down beside Fox and silently resuming his position. 

The kid also resumes the position she had before she left. The Chancellor was staring at her.

“Is there a problem sir?” Fox asks, pretending everything was normal. Well, this was normal to him. 

“Is that a _child_ Commander?”

“Yes, sir. It is perfectly fine.” It was. Fox had dealt with all _that_ paperwork which allowed the kids to roam the senate so long as there was at least one Clone for every three kids. He knows Natborns have a higher adult to kid ratio (something like 1 to every 10) but he doesn’t have that much faith in his men or the kids. With three, the Clone can grab them all.

“Is it?” Fox nods sharply once. “I don’t believe it is. Should you really be babysitting while on duty?”

“There is nothing illegal about what I’m doing, sir.” There wasn’t. Actually there was a law permitting parents to bring their children to their jobs if they have no other option. It covered babysitters having to take them to _their_ jobs in place of leaving them alone.

Most parents and employers didn’t like children in the workplace.

So that was a last resort.

“Even so, can you really do your job with a child hanging off you?”

“Yes.” Fox knew he could. He’s had to before.

The Chancellor raises his brows slightly, “Really?” Fox nods, “Well, where did you get the little one?”

Seriously? Did the Chancellor not keep up?

 _”Wasn’t our Daycare in the News?”_ Croak asks. Which, yes, it was.

Still, Fox informs, “We run a Daycare sir. It’s perfectly legal.”

“What?”

Fox repeats, “We run a daycare. It’s perfectly legal.” Fox could hear Corak laughing over the internal comm, but his body was still.

“Who’s ‘we’?”

“The entire Coruscant Guard, sir.”

 _”Has he not heard the reports of kids in the Senate? Wait has anyone reported that?”_ Croak asks.

“That’s-, why are you doing that?”

“Senate funded schools and daycares shut down sir. Parents needed someone to take care of their kids while they go to work. Privately funded daycares and schools are either full or too expensive, sir.” Fox explains.

“But why you? Why the Guard?”

“Clones are good with children, sir. We are trusted.” Shockingly. “The Coruscant Guard Daycare is legal, sir.” 

“I’m sure it is, Commander.” With that, the Chancellor went back into his office.

 _”Did he want something?”_ Croak asks.

Fox switches to internal comms, _”I guess not. Ready to stand here for another five hours?”_

Corak groans, _“And then I have patrol after.”_

_”I have paperwork.”_

Croak whistles, _” Yet another reason I do not envy you.”_

\---

Fox was slouched over his desk, thankful for the quiet his office offered. Despite being a renovated supply closet, it was soundproof. And children were noisy. It had been a long day and all he wanted to do was sleep, but he couldn’t do that for another two hours, when he’d be off duty.

Maybe he could nap at his desk…

The thought was disturbed by a soft knock at his door. It was clearly a child, no trooper would knock that softly. Fox debated sending them away but ultimately straightened up and called, “Come in,” far kinder than he would if it was a Trooper. He made that mistake once with a kid and they had started crying.

Never again.

The Tholothian kid who had stayed with him on duty entered his office. Fox was rather positive the kid was either new or one of the Jedi youngling who liked to visit, since he didn’t know her name. She came around his desk and held out a lightsaber to him.

What?

Fox hesitantly takes it, confused. Younglings don’t get lightsabers, right?

“Commander Fox, I need you to keep this safe and hidden until Master Vos or Master Kenobi returns to the Temple.” The youngling states, with a _lot_ of seriousness for an eight-year-old.

“Okay?” Fox goes to hook it to his belt but she stops him.

“No! You can’t show anyone. No one can see that. Not even the Chancellor! It has to be hidden. And safe. Please, Master Vos said I should give it to you and that you were trustworthy.”

This. This was concerning. 

General _Vos_ said he was trustworthy. With a _lightsaber_.

 _Vos._ Who had a low opinion of almost any clone not under his direct command.

Fox was concerned.

“Where did you get this?” He asks carefully.

The kid answers hesitantly, “The Chancellor.”

The Chancellor had a lightsaber? It- it wasn’t illegal for non-Jedi to possess them, but the _Chancellor?_

“Why did you take it from him?” Because that was relevant.

“It was Master Vos’s game. We were sneaking stuff from Clones or Masters around the Temple. The last challenge Master Vos issued us was stealing a lightsaber off a conscious living being. So I took it off of the chancellor. I showed it to Master Vos but he told me to give it to you.” The kid sounded worried and upset. Like she was worried about getting into trouble. Fox noted distantly.

He was focused on the lightsaber. He turned it sideways, so neither end was pointed at him or the kid, and ignited it.

A red blade sang to life from one end.

Fuck. 

Fox killed the blade and shoved the lightsaber into one of his desk drawers.

“You’re not in trouble, it’s good that you brought this to me. Don’t tell anyone else, it’ll be a secret between you, me and General Vos, got it?” Fox held out his pinky, a habit as most kids want pinky promises. The girl happily grasps his pinky with hers and leave his office.

Once she was gone, Fox banged his head on his desk.

Fuck.

He wasn’t paid enough for this.

(He still wasn’t paid at all)

\----

Fox had gone down to Armor Requisitions and asked for a 20cm long thigh bag. The only one of that size they had in stock was a double. It was either that or wait a month for their next supply shipment.

Fox took the double.

One pouch was the perfect size for the lightsaber he had.

He filled the other with some extra ammunition and called it a day.

\---

Three days later Fox found a better use for the second pouch.

A different youngling came into his office and brandished a lightsaber that looked identical to the one currently in his thigh bag, Fox wanted to pull it out to double check but stops himself and listens to the kid.

“Shira said she gave you the one she found on the Chancellor, said it’s what Master voice wanted. I found this in his office, in one of his statues.” The youngling explains.

Fox nods, “Thank you,” Fox puts the lightsaber on his desk and holds out his pinky, “Now we gotta keep this a secret from everyone but you, me and General Vos.” The youngling nods, wrapping his pinky around Fox’s. “Good, now go play with the other kids.” the youngling nods happily and leaves. 

Fox sighs, and just to be sure, pulls out the other lightsaber he had been given. Yup. There were two identical lightsabers. Both from the Chancellor.

Great.

Just great.

This was _way_ above Fox’s paygrade.

(His paygrade was nothing, but still!)

Fox takes out the ammunition he stored in the second pouch and puts a lightsaber in each pouch.

Fox sighs, how is this his life?

**Author's Note:**

> @Batsutousai on Tumblr is responsible for putting the Children in the Senate.
> 
> It did not occur to me until she said that Palps would be regretting his life because Children were running around the senate constantly.
> 
> So, because of that, we got that sneaky little plot. And really this entire thing because it was more of a funny errant thought than a fic but then she replied to my post and three thousand words later here we are.


End file.
